Episode 78: Bouncing Forward: Embracing My Second Cochlear Implant Journey

In this heartfelt episode, Dr. Carrie Spangler shares about her upcoming second cochlear implant as she reflects on resilience, bouncing forward and her CI marathon mantra. From the first magical sounds she heard years ago—Jingle Bells, her dog’s collar, a car turn signal—to the lessons learned along the way, Carrie explores what it means to bounce forward, not just back. It’s a episode of resilience, rediscovery, and connection—and a reminder that whether you’re facing a cochlear implant journey or another life challenge, you’re never alone in learning to bounce forward. 

Follow HearingSpanglish blog at https://hearingspanglish.com/

For more information about Dr. Carrie Spangler- check out her Linktree at https://linktr.ee/carrie.spangler.

For transcripts of this episode- visit the podcast website at: https://empowearaudiology.buzzsprout.com

Transcript

Carrie: 0:08

Welcome to the EmpowerEAR Audiology Podcast, a production of EmpowEar Audiology and Coaching, LLC. I am your host, Dr. Carrie Spangler, a passionate, deaf and hard of hearing audiologist. Each episode will bring an empowering message surrounding audiology and beyond. Thank you for spending time with me today, and let's get started. Today's episode is a little different from my normal format. It is just me. There's no guests. There's no interview. I thought I would take some time today to do a reflection from the bottom of my heart as I prepare for my second cochlear implant. This episode is actually a companion to my recent Hearing Spanglish blog called Bouncing Forward. And I really think about resilience, reflection, and the gift of choosing growth, even when life asks us to begin again. Because sometimes life doesn't give us the option to bounce back, it only invites us to bounce forward. It is now less than a month away from surgery day. For a while I hadn't really been thinking much about this exact date. I had scheduled this exact date of December 5th way back in July. There's something about coming up and crossing that one-month mark that brings it all to the forefront. I recently had my pre-op call with the Cochlear Implant Center, going over all the details, scheduling, recovery plans, my initial mapping appointment. Seeing these dates written down, coming up quick, makes it feel real. And I'm also grateful. I am grateful for my family and my friends who are rooting for me. I'm grateful for the deaf and heart of hearing peers that I know that are friends who've gone through this process ahead of me and will be my lifeline. I am grateful for my cochlear implant team whom I trust and they know me well. I'm grateful for the school districts that I get to serve who have been incredibly supportive, and they know I'm going to be out for several days, and they understand that when I do return, communication might take a little extra effort, and that listening fatigue will be real, but it's all part of moving forward. Progress does not come from bouncing back to what was, it comes from leaning forward into what's next. When I look back at my first cochlear implant surgery, and it was back in November of 2019. I cannot believe how fast time flies. I can still feel the swirl of emotions though. Excitement, nervousness, anxiety, hope. This time in I'm in a little more of a knowing place. I understand the process. I understand the healing, the mapping, the setbacks, the bouncing forward. But I've realized that doesn't mean I'm not feeling the same emotion the second time around. The mix of anxious, nervous, excited, and even scared. It's still here. And I know that's okay. Because bouncing forward doesn't mean you don't have fear. It means you are moving through it. A few weeks ago, I was listening to the Maxwell Leadership Podcast. It was just one of those ordinary days. I had it playing in the car, driving to work, and on the podcast, they were interviewing an author by the name of Valerie Burton. And she was talking about her book, Rules of Resilience. As I'm listening to that podcast, she said something that spoke directly to me. And she said, and I quote, "We always hear about bouncing back. But the truth is life changes us. You can't always go back to what was, but you can bounce forward stronger and wiser into what's next". This message hit me deeply. Because it's true. We don't come through change the same as before. We evolve. We grow our strength, our empathy, and in that growth we find a greater purpose. That's become my mantra for the next cochlear implant marathon. I'm not bouncing back, I'm bouncing forward. Of course, right after listening to the podcast, I ordered her book on Amazon, and at this recording right now, I'm about halfway through the book. She has 10 rules of resilience. One of Burton's rules stood out to me as I prepare for this upcoming second cochlear implant surgery. And that rule is focus on the vision, not the obstacle. It is easy to get caught up in the what-ifs, the what-ifs of surgery day nerves, the what-ifs of healing, the what-ifs of relearning how to hear, the what-ifs of integrating two bionic signals together. But resilience isn't about staying where we were, it's about moving towards what we are becoming. For me, that vision is to fully embrace the gift of this second cochlear implant, to grow in my confidence, to find balance in the unfamiliar that I will be learning to integrate, and to be intentional with my connection to the people and sounds that bring life meaning. That's what bouncing forward means to me, trusting this process, even that when this outcome isn't fully clear. Resilience doesn't mean pretending everything is fine. It means acknowledging that life changes us and choosing to move forward anyway. Over the past six years, I've learned that resilience looks a lot like kindness. It's allowing yourself to be scared and hopeful at the same time. It's learning to rest and reflect when you have a setback, never losing sight of why you started. And that's where I am now. Grateful and ready to step into what's next. Because even when life feels uncertain, I remind myself I'm not here to bounce back to who I was. I'm here to bounce forward into who I am becoming. This vision statement for myself, I continue to say in my head, as I embark on the second cochlear implant for my right side in this new chapter. Again, my vision is to fully embrace that gift of my second cochlear implant, growing in confidence, balance of sound, and connection across every part of learning to listen. When I think back to the first activation day six years ago, I remember how strange and unique it all felt. I remember trying to figure out the jingle of my dog's collar and having to take it off. It was so much sound for me. I remember hearing the turn signal in the car for the first time. I remember hearing the bells of jingle bells coming through playing holiday music. Those sounds may be ordinary for many of you listening today, yet for me they were extraordinary. They were proof that my brain could learn to listen in a whole new way. Now, as I prepare again for this next journey, I hold on to that wonder, but with more awareness. I know it's not about perfection. I know it's about making these listening connections and to be able to find joy in the little sounds in our everyday life. If you are someone navigating your own hearing journey or any big life transition, I hope that sharing this next step of my cochlear implant marathon encourages you to think about how you are learning to bounce forward. What vision are you holding on to? What's pulling you towards what's next? I'd love to hear what you reflections on resilience and how you are going to bounce forward with purpose. As I close out today, I just want to thank all of you for listening, for being on this path with me, for rooting for me as I embark on this second cochlear implant journey, and of course being part of the EmpowEAR Audiology community. Be sure to follow the Hearing Spanish blog, as I will have some updates on surgery day and activation day. Until next time on the EmpoEAR Audiology Podcast, remember, you're not bouncing back, you're bouncing forward. Thanks again for listening to the EmpowEAR Audiology Podcast. If you've enjoyed this episode, be sure to share it with others. Like the episode and leave a five-star review. It really helps others find the podcast and be able to benefit from listening as well. Thank you for listening.